Types of customers I have noticed

Types of Customers I Have Noticed Part 1

I will be adding to this list during the next few weeks/months/years, but here is a rundown of a few types of customers I have noticed...

The good, the bad and the f*****g annoying.

1. The Sample Hunter

Something I have learnt... Women get crazy when it comes to samples. Those tiny tiny little pots of product, that wouldn't de-age a flea are like gold dust. And heaven forbid the counter girl that does not give this woman a sample.

She doesn't care that we like to reserve these for the customers who spend loads of money with us or the ones that have skin conditions and do genuinely need to try a sample to make sure they don't break out in some godforsaken rash. No not this lady "Sample!" She barks and if you don't you can be sure she will be the lady that takes the 30mins out of her life to complain about you to head office. By name.

From counter to counter they lurk, beware the sample hunter counter girls, beware.

They have gotten more sophisticated with their techniques, some of the new breed like to morph into the time-waster category too... Requesting a make-over, luring you in with the glittering promise of a huge sale, only to crush you with the inevitable line "Do you have any samples of that?"

Then onto the next counter they go, little pots jingling in their handbags. You've been warned.

Annoyance rating: 9/10

2. The List Maker

Ah the list maker! They used to get me all excited, now I cringe when I see a tourist veering towards me with a notepad and pen.

They ask you the prices of EVERYTHING and write them down. On my first day I nearly wet myself, "oh my gawd" I thought "This beautiful Japanese lady is going to buy everything and I will get a %, I'm rich, I'm rich, goodbye target!". But no, alas, they just write everything down.

What do they do with these lists? I guess we'll never know.

Annoyance rating: 8/10

3. The Group Of Teenage Girls

Now, I am not one to judge. During my very own acne-ridden teens I spent a ridiculous amount of money on Clinique's 3 Step and various foundations trying to cover spots. I am not one to turn my nose up at the lone teenage girl or the teenage girl with mother combo.

However the group of teenage girls is a very different story. Loud, usually quite rude and giggly, they drive others away from the counter, often found to be slathering testers on various parts of themselves and just generally being annoying and making a mess.

Many are future sample hunters in training. Often found in a pack of 4-7.

You are often eating something that smells delicious, which annoys me, as you like to time your arrival before my lunch break.

Annoyance rating 8/10 mainly because I always have to clean up after them.

4. The Lipstick Tester Lady

Why? Just why?

At least let me sanitise that before you slather it on your lips.

Annoyance rating: 10/10  It's just plain dirrrtyy. Stop it woman, you'll get herpes.

5. The Older Regular Buyer Lady

I have only been working here a month, but I know your skin better than my own. You make my day. You are always nice to me and actually ask how I am. You know what you want and it's all quick and easy. I wish they all were like you.

You're usually a little older and a little nicer than the other customers.

Quick and easy, you get your replacement foundation, I get my comission. Everyone's happy. Please don't start shopping online.

I'm hoping you don't know how to use a computer and it stays that way.

Loveliness rating: 10/10

6. The Arab/Chinese/Japanese Tourist

You demand a lot of attention, but you are worth it.

We converse in weird english and hand gestures and pointing. Occasionally I mimic your accent by accident whilst trying to explain something, you don't seem to mind.

You're just here for the tax free shopping and I love that. Keep on doing what your doing. You make my day better.

Loveliness rating: 11/10

7. The American/ Canadian Tourist

You ask the price of everything, then tell me everything is cheaper over there.

Well duh! Welcome to England biatches.

Why do you think we all go shopping the minute we land there?

Annoyance rating: 8/10

8. The Teenage Mother Daughter Combo

You just want a face-cream, you daughter basically does my job for me pressuring you into buying her a ton of stuff, she really doesn't need for her skin.

I would tell you this, but she scares me a bit.

You're lovely, she is sometimes a bit horrid and selfish. It reminds me of when I used to go shopping with my mum as teen. I like you guys.

Loveliness rating: 9/10

9. The Time-waster

You're a bit bored, maybe you're on your lunch break or maybe you just want your make up done for free. I haven't worked you out yet, but I do know you love a chat and love to waste some time.

You can see I'm very busy and you have zero intention of buying anything, but you take one of two approaches.

You either ask me endless questions about a product you're not that interested in or you want a lovely make-over to pass the time.

Do you care I'm busy... Nah.. You relax, sit back, shoot the breeze. You have all the time in world.

Annoyance rating: 10/10

10. The Deed Poll

I work in a Boots, but many of my colleagues in department stores agree, Deed Poll's are annoying.

They stomp up to the counter and shout at you "Suncream!"

Since my time in boots I have started answering to the name "Tampons".

Annoyance rating: 7/10

11. The Issue Lady

You are my favourite. I have been found sobbing in the back room after you. You inspired me to start this blog.

You have an issue, be it on your face or body, that knocks your self-esteem and has deeply affected you.

If I can help you find a product that will help or disguise that for you and help you look in the mirror and smile. That gives me a reason to come back to work tomorrow.

You make all the annoying customers bearable. You are what's keeping me in this career. Yes you.

Loveliness rating 11/10


Please note any opinions on this blog are my own, I do not mean to cause offence. I am just writing a truthful account of what it's like to work as a counter girl.

C.G
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